Heather Hodges

I recently watched the 1953 Academy Award winning movie “Shane” for the fourth or fifth time.  Alan Ladd plays Shane, the tough but weary gunfighter who tries to settle down with a farming family and be their hired hand. He becomes friends with their son Joey, who wants Shane to teach him how to shoot. But trouble soon arises between the farmers and the ranchers and Shane has to put on his guns again to save the day. Shane beats up the bad guys and saves all the farmers from ruin. After this Shane knows he is no farmer and decides to leave.  As he is riding off into the sunset Joey calls after him, “Shane….Shane…. come back Shane!” Joey doesn’t understand why Shane can’t stay forever. Goodbyes can seem unbearable to the ones left behind.

How do we learn to say goodbye gracefully? I’m trying to learn this arduous, but important task now. My dearest Grandma Ola is soon to leave this earth. She is suffering from terminal cancer, and is in her last days or maybe weeks of life.

I have just returned from spending a few days with her; she and I both knew the reason for my visit. But how do I say goodbye to the woman who has meant so much to me in my life? She has taught me many important life lessons, and has walked beside me during some of the saddest and happiest days of my life. She taught me to paint and to really see the world around me. She made my wedding dress. She has listened to me cry and laugh. She poured out wisdom on me and taught me to love the Lord more fervently and faithfully. She modeled how to love and be loved by the same man for 68 years. She showed me how to be content with little or with plenty. She showed me that a woman can do or become anything she wants. She taught me how to be brave in the face of pain. She taught me that creativity is a gift from God. She modeled leadership and strength. She modeled how to live as a woman of God.

Today she taught me how to say goodbye. As we sat together, she reached out and patted me on the knee with her frail hand. She told me she was ready and that she wasn’t afraid. She said she wasn’t dwelling on her death, but knew it would come soon. When the time came for me to go, I bent down to hug and kiss her. She squeezed my hand and said, “I’ll see ya.” We both knew what she meant.

Even in her last days, Grandma is still teaching me one more lesson. She is teaching me how to let go and say goodbye gracefully. But it is not goodbye, but “I’ll see ya.” So unlike Joey from Shane I won’t say “come back”, but rather, “Go on home Grandma, I’ll see ya.”

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

This entry was posted on Friday, April 18th, 2008 at 4:14 am and is filed under Fitting It Together, Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.