Heather Hodges

I recently watched the 1953 Academy Award winning movie “Shane” for the fourth or fifth time.  Alan Ladd plays Shane, the tough but weary gunfighter who tries to settle down with a farming family and be their hired hand. He becomes friends with their son Joey, who wants Shane to teach him how to shoot. But trouble soon arises between the farmers and the ranchers and Shane has to put on his guns again to save the day. Shane beats up the bad guys and saves all the farmers from ruin. After this Shane knows he is no farmer and decides to leave.  As he is riding off into the sunset Joey calls after him, “Shane….Shane…. come back Shane!” Joey doesn’t understand why Shane can’t stay forever. Goodbyes can seem unbearable to the ones left behind.

How do we learn to say goodbye gracefully? I’m trying to learn this arduous, but important task now. My dearest Grandma Ola is soon to leave this earth. She is suffering from terminal cancer, and is in her last days or maybe weeks of life.

I have just returned from spending a few days with her; she and I both knew the reason for my visit. But how do I say goodbye to the woman who has meant so much to me in my life? She has taught me many important life lessons, and has walked beside me during some of the saddest and happiest days of my life. She taught me to paint and to really see the world around me. She made my wedding dress. She has listened to me cry and laugh. She poured out wisdom on me and taught me to love the Lord more fervently and faithfully. She modeled how to love and be loved by the same man for 68 years. She showed me how to be content with little or with plenty. She showed me that a woman can do or become anything she wants. She taught me how to be brave in the face of pain. She taught me that creativity is a gift from God. She modeled leadership and strength. She modeled how to live as a woman of God.

Today she taught me how to say goodbye. As we sat together, she reached out and patted me on the knee with her frail hand. She told me she was ready and that she wasn’t afraid. She said she wasn’t dwelling on her death, but knew it would come soon. When the time came for me to go, I bent down to hug and kiss her. She squeezed my hand and said, “I’ll see ya.” We both knew what she meant.

Even in her last days, Grandma is still teaching me one more lesson. She is teaching me how to let go and say goodbye gracefully. But it is not goodbye, but “I’ll see ya.” So unlike Joey from Shane I won’t say “come back”, but rather, “Go on home Grandma, I’ll see ya.”

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

I received the tragic news yesterday that Caleb’s best friend from his first grade class died on Sunday night due to complications from an asthma attack. It was very sudden. Please pray for the little boy’s family who are shocked and grieved by this horrible loss. Pray for Caleb, he is trying to figure out what all this means and how he is supposed to respond. Also, pray for the school that has been struck by a student’s death for the second time this year.

I have just finished reading a book by Lauren Winner titled “Mudhouse Sabbath: An Invitation to a Life of Spiritual Discipline.” Lauren is a recent convert to Christianity from Judaism. I met her last year at the Zoe Conference in Nashville, where she was the keynote speaker. I found her to be a refreshingly down-to-earth, intuitive, Godly woman. (Aside: One comment she made during her talk that has haunted me to this day was in regards to the church of Christ’s a capella music. She thought the singing was beautiful and uplifting, but found it curious that the women were the ones to always have the “echo” part. Hmmmm…interesting observation.)

“Mudhouse Sabbath” is an invitation for Christians to enrich and deepen their faith by learning from the spiritual practices of Judaism. Lauren delves into the daily, weekly, and yearly practices of Orthodox Judaism that continually remind the faithful of the stories, grace, love, and presence of God. There is so much for Christians to learn about spiritual discipline from this beautiful little book. She discuses the practices of sabbath, hospitality, food and fasting, mourning, prayer, candle-lighting, etc. I have learned so much from Lauren already and I’m looking forward to my next Winner read, “Girl Meets God: On the Path to a Spiritual Life.” Thanks Lauren for pointing us in the right direction.

I heard a sermon preached yesterday that I have been waiting many years to hear. I am very proud of the courage and conviction it took to be able to teach on such a delicate topic. My hopes and prayers are that women in the church will be encouraged to use their spiritual gifts to the fullest. Yet, I know that many people will hear and interpret something different from what was actually said. My deepest desire is that a healthy and Godly conversation will grow from this.  May grace and love abound.

“Women in Leadership at Garnett”

It has been a pleasure reading your feedback to my previous post. I am humbled that so many of you took the time to weigh in on this very important subject. I invite you now to brain storm with me what the next actions could be for a congregation that believes women should use their gifts fully in service to God. Where do we go from here? How do a group of believers proceed down a path that will inevitably cause pain or discomfort to others? Is it possible to change church culture? Should we attempt to change church culture? Do you know of examples from other congregations who have navigated these waters already? Is there anything we can learn from their triumphs or failures?

I have long been an advocate of women exercising their spiritual gifts in the church. I noticed the discrepancy between how males and females served the Lord in public when I was about 5 years old. “Singing Night” was every first Wednesday of the month at the church where I grew up in Azle, Texas. The congregation would meet together in the auditorium for an hour of worship. During this time Odell Bramlett, the song leader, would invite the little boys to come down front with him for a few songs as his song-leaders-in-training. My brothers would eagerly rush to the front to join Brother Odell. When I tried to follow them, a gentle hand pulled me back down on the pew. When I asked my dad why I couldn’t help lead worship like my brothers, his answer was grossly insufficient for both of us. He and my mom didn’t always agree with the traditions and heritage of the Church of Christ. At home a different truth was taught. I was brought up to believe that I was worthy in the sight of God and was gifted by Him for His service.

I was taught about the courage and faithfulness of the women of the Bible, and how the Lord moved in their lives and was glorified by their talents and service. From the time I was a child I heard the names of Sarah, Rachael, Leah, Jochebed, Miriam, Abigail, Tamar, Deborah, Jael, Rahab, Esther, Ruth, Hannah, Elizabeth, Anna, Mary, Martha, Dorcas (Tabitha), Lydia, Phoebe, Chloe, Priscilla, Junias, Lois, and Eunice. These women served in every roll imaginable in the kingdom. There was a mother of nations, a song leader, a ruler, a warrior, a hero, a determined convert, a rescuer, a faithful mom, a loyal wife, a prophetess, a hostess, a church planter, a teacher, an apostle, a philanthropist, a business woman, a devout Christian, and a woman honored above all other woman as the mother of Christ.

Throughout Scripture we read story after story of these great women who had distinct roles in the kingdom of God. Whether they were pious or not, they were used for the glory of the Lord. Unfortunately, many Christian churches today have let two culturally restrictive Scriptures (1 Co 14:34 and 1 Tim 2:12) over shadow the rich history of women in the Bible. Scholars agree that these two Scriptures were cultural directions that dealt with specific situations and are not to be directives to all churches for all times. However, many churches have applied these two restrictions to all women for all times. Other churches have softened their stance for women’s roles but have kept women in the background because of “heritage values.”

It is time for a better understanding of Scripture and a better understanding of how the Lord has used and plans to use women in his kingdom. So, where are the women in churches today? They are where they have always been. They are behind the scenes planning, coordinating, and organizing. They are in the kitchen, nursery, and classrooms. They are on their knees in prayer. They are battling the enemy head-on in their homes, at work, the community and the mission field. They are raising-up generations of faithful believers.

Women have been functioning in the role of a supporter, nurturer, hostess, care-giver, or children’s teacher. Many women have been able to fully exercise their spiritual gifts within the boundaries of these roles. These women have served their church family in completeness and have felt little restriction or confinement in these roles. However, there are a large number of women who have felt that their spiritual gifts have been unusable to the church. These women are gifted in administration, business, scholarship, public speaking, and leadership. These women are entrepreneurs, doctors, professors, mothers, politicians, bankers, administrators, social workers, and business women. They have occupied roles in the world that have best suited their interests, talents, and areas of giftedness. Women are presidents of universities, prime ministers of countries, and CEOs of top 10 companies. In the world they have had the freedom to excel and be effective.

The talents of these women have lain dormant in the church because of a poor interpretation of Scripture. Women have been told to “remain silent” and to “be in submission” when a less gifted (or less willing) man was an elder, preacher, youth minister, church administrator, served on committees, lead worship, read Scripture, or prayed in public.

The spiritual gifts of millions of women has been stifled and hushed through the years. This has damaged many women, it has hurt marriages and families. It has hindered the church and I believe saddened the Lord. A better reading of Scripture is now being realized among many churches and can emancipate women in the church. It is time to give women the freedom to fully use their gifts in the service of God. The harvest is ripe and there have been women waiting to be allowed to serve. Where are the women? They are here and they are ready.

This blog is a medium for me, and those of you who have chosen to join me on this quest, to find out “how it all fits together”. We are all walking, dreaming, planning, aspiring, regretting, loving, working, praying, learning, teaching, and hoping. Everything we do is connected with the world around us and those with whom we share our world. I am a mother, wife, preschool director, professor, artist, and minister’s wife. In Uganda, a woman named Ida, is a mother, wife, preschool director, teacher, artist, and minister. She and I are not only connected by our life experiences but by our faith. I cannot extract or separate my love of tennis, art, family, or even shellfish from who I am in Christ. Please join me as we walk together and explore the nuances of living a life completed connected with each other and our Lord. “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord.” Col 3:17.